Clever liars give details, but the cleverest don’t.

– Source Unknown

Hey, have you started to notice a significant trend with regard to Williard Mitt Romney, forever to be referred to here as Rmoney?

No, I’m not referring to the well-worn, obvious and ridiculous tendency to be a pander bear and flip-flop on every conceivable issue in the public discourse depending on whose votes he needs, including, but not limited to:

Gun control: Signed legislation as governor of Massachusetts in 2004 banning assault weapons permanently, but now, {insert Goober voice here} surprise, surprise, he is running scared of the NRA and opposes any legislation restricting gun ownership.

Abortion: Pro-choice first, now anti-choice

Ronald Reagan’s policies: Distanced himself from the Gipper’s policies as a senate candidate, now just loves him

No-tax pledge: Refused to sign one as a gubernatorial candidate, signed one when he began campaign for the presidency.

Climate change: Pre-running for the presidency, Mr. Wishy-washy consistently spoke in agreement with 98% of the world’s climate scientists and agreed it’s getting warmer (awesome!) and that humans are contributing to it (be still my heart), but now he has cleverly decided that in order to satisfy the Koch Brothers and the Teapublicans, he is now on record as saying “we don’t know what’s causing climate change on this planet.”

The economic stimulus: Rmoney for it before President Obama was sworn-in (in other words, when the Republicans did it), opposed to it after President Obama took office.

Healthcare reform/Obamacare (let’s just call it what it is– Obamneycare): Of course, the silliest, most disingenuous flip-flop of them all, he was for his own health-reform measure he signed into law as Governor and is now 100% percent against his own healthcare reform bill as our President has now signed it into law. During his latest “gaffe-fest” overseas, which eerily previewed what kind of inarticulate dunderhead we would have serving as Commander-in-Chief, Rmoney went out of his way to praise Israel’s healthcare system, which has kept costs low and produces the little perk where the average Israeli lives 3 years longer than the average American. Unfortunately, he was totally unaware that theirs was a government-run, non-profit healthcare system which includes an individual mandate! Oh yes, we know Mitt and all you supposed “states-righters” like this plan when it saves money, saves lives, and allows people to afford to stay well and alive…but ONLY when the states do it. Of course, the actual premise of it means nothing. The success of it means nothing. What a load of donkey diamonds that argument leaves behind.

I’ve seen a 10 pound catfish dangling on a line that didn’t flail around as much.

I could add to those tortured twists things like stem-cell research (for/then against), minimum wage (for keeping pace with inflation/not for raising it now), immigration reform (for it/against it), same-sex marriage (opposed a ban on/now supports a ban on it), and even his own political persuasion (moderate, then Republican, now he’s “severely conservative”).

In the interest of total transparency and fairness, Rmoney has actually not changed his mind about three things:

Number one: Water is wet.

Number two: If I conjure up a phony, nervous cackle and smirk my way through difficult questions without actually answering them, hopefully people will move along and not press me on any issue.

Number three: Winning the birth lottery and being stinking, filthy rich from cradle to grave is a freakin’ great way to go through life.

Back to the premise of today’s hideous blog. I am not at all referring to the aforementioned avalanche of backpeddles and shuffles highlighting the complete dearth of any detectable core or center or backbone attached to Rmoney. The tendency that I am referring to has to do with the mounting avalanche of evidence that Rmoney is turning out to be one of the least transparent and furtive candidates this country has seen run in the modern era.

In the immortal words of fightin’ Harry Reid, he makes trickie Dick Nixon look forthcoming.

Exhibit A:

Rmoney, in one of the most cloak and dagger operations in history, before leaving office in Massachusetts, had 11 of his top-aides purchase{d} their state issued hard drives, and the Romney administrations e-mails were all wiped from the server…”

Therefore, there are now no electronic records from the Rmoney administration from 2002-2006. Oh, by the way, it cost the taxpayers a cool hundred grand so that no citizen or group or government entity could ever have access to those records pertaining to public business again.

Legal? The issue is murky.

Have other governors done it?

Why yes, one Mike Huckabee did similarly when he left office. So have others.

Ethical? Responsible? Eyebrow-raising?

No. No. Hell yeah!

Exhibit B:

When Rmoney took over as the head of the Salt Lake Organizing Committee after its scandal-plagued start, he promised, “complete transparency” under his watch. However, Rmoney’s tenure was anything but “transparent” according to the people who worked under him. This from Boston.com:

But some who worked with Romney describe a close-to-the-vest chief executive unwilling to share so much as a budget with a state board responsible for spending oversight. Archivists now say most key records about the Games’ internal workings were destroyed under the supervision of a staffer shortly after the flame was extinguished at Olympic Cauldron Park, after Romney had returned to Massachusetts.

“Transparency? There was none with [the Salt Lake Organizing Committee] when he was there,” said Kenneth Bullock, a committee member who represented the Utah League of Cities and Towns. “Their transparency became a black hole. It was nonexistent.”

 Rmoney dismissed the destruction of records from the Olympics saying it was done after he went back to run for governor of Massachusetts. Of course, this was told by a man who worked at Bain and took over for Rmoney. So I have to ask, does this guy ever take responsibility for anything that occurs under his leadership?

Additionally, I can’t resist pointing out the fact that Mitt Rmoney didn’t save the Salt Lake Olympics, the damn government did!

Exhibit C:

Rmoney has steadfastly, adamantly, and stubbornly refused to release anything more than two years of tax records (of course, he has only really released one year’s worth of completed records as he has still not given us this years completed version). Most of you know the drill on this one. Yes, Rmoney’s own daddy set the precedent with 12 years of returns. Yes, Rmoney’s own daddy said to do anything less would be short-changing the American public because “one year could be a fluke.” Yes, Rmoney’s refusal to release at least 5 years worth of returns (the least any candidate has done in 3 decades) has fueled speculation that he is a tax-avoiding ass-hat who wants to become President to perpetuate the parade of other rich folks who may continue to receive special considerations like tax-loopholes, subsidies, and special regulations which allows douchnozzles like Rmoney to pay less taxes percentage-wise than the guy who cleans up the elephant cage after the circus leaves town.

Rachel Maddow had a damning piece recently on her show that detailed how Mittens has a long and dubious history of playing, “I’ll show you mine when you show me yours” where releasing tax returns to the public is concerned.

He demanded in 1994 that his opponent, Ted Kennedy show his tax return since he was “the biggest-taxing senator” and Rmoney felt he needed to show the citizens of Massachusetts “how much he paid in taxes.” Neither did.

Then, in 2002, he demanded that the spouse of his opponent release his returns. The actual candidate, Shannon O’Brien had already released hers. Rmoney refused to release his. He said his taxes were a “privacy” issue.

There was also a “residency” issue interspersed with the tax issues during the 2002 campaign. Rmoney claimed on his taxes for 1999 and 2000 that he was a resident of Utah. Unfortunately for him, the democrats pressed him on the dual residency issue since the Massachusetts Constitution called for a governor to be a resident of the state for 7 years prior to running for office. You see, Mittens kept just insisting he had been a legal resident of Mass. all along. Then a funny thing happened. The Boston Globe asked Rmoney for

 “copies of his returns with financial information redacted, but his residential status visible. A Romney spokesman insisted at that time the GOP candidate had filed his returns as a Massachusetts resident, but told the Globe reporter, “You’re going to have to take my word for it.”- Boston Globe

Oh darn, the only problem with taking Mitt’s word for it was that he was lying. His taxes for 1999 and 2000 had shown that he was NOT declaring himself a resident of Massachusetts, but of Utah. You see, he even got a $54,500 property tax deduction for that not-so-insignificant fact. Oops.

It’s okay though, Mitt did what he does best, he “retroactively” made himself a resident of Massachusetts. POOF! See how easy that was?

I think we need to nickname him “Retroactive Rmoney” or something.

Yes, my fellow Americans, Mittens says we should just take his word for it, like we’ve had to take his word for many events in the murky world of Bain Capital. We have to “take his word for it” that he keeps his money in Swiss bank accounts and in the Cayman Islands without any monetary benefits. We have to “take his word for it” when he does things like release his tax plan, which clearly is not revenue neutral, meaning the huge (20%) tax cuts he wants to give need to be made up for somewhere. Guess…just guess… where he will need to cut? Yes, it will come out of the pockets of the 98 percenters. Or, Rmoney says, he will just change the tax code. The only problem is, he won’t tell us just what he would change. Just take his word for it. He will do it, because we are supposed to believe a guy who has benefitted his entire life from every tax loophole his team of high-powered accountants could find will somehow be a bud and immediately close them for himself and his 1% friends {insert a tired cliche’ about me selling you a bridge if you believe that one.}

You’d best believe we are going to get “all you people need” to get, as his wife Ann Rmoney tersely responded to an inquiry of his taxes. He told an ABC News reporter the other night after he was once again, questioned about those elusive taxes, that he would “get back to him” on the percentage of taxes he paid over the last decade.

ABC News has been waiting.


So there you have it folks. Williard Mitt Rmoney wants us to become human bobbleheads. Yes Mitt. Whatever you say Mitt. He wants us to just take his word for it. Just move along now, nothing to see here. The coronation awaits and all of these questions about his lack of transparency are really annoying {insert phony, nervous cackle}.

About Blithering Idiot

I am a teacher and I love my job.
This entry was posted in 99%, Humor, Mitt Romney, politics, Romneycare. Bookmark the permalink.

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