You can fool some of the people all the time, and those are the ones you want to concentrate on. -George W. BushYes, I admit it. I was fully prepared to craft a clever little April Fools blog and post it today. I was going to shrewdly proclaim my newfound appreciation of Republican ideology and right-wing thinking due to some sort of soul-searching or perhaps something I saw on Fox News. Tee-hee.
I was going to start out by extolling the virtues of reducing the tax rates on those poor, beleaguered corporations who are only able to amass mere billions in profits these past few years while paying virtually no taxes. One of the biggest reasons I was going to use for my reversal of thinking was that I realized that these businesses are hemorrhaging millions just to buy congressman alone! Look at how they have to pay through the nose to buy only 5 congressman? That doesn’t seem very fair I planned to assert. How could I expect these corporations to scrape by on only billions in profits? was another zinger I was going to add to the argument. How could I be so blind? would have been my cry! Bwahahaha.
I had planned to sheepishly admit that climate change was indeed a big, freaking hoax. I was prepared to say that I had come to see the light. The idea that roughly 97% the world’s most accomplished climatologists were using using scientific methods and data to chart and identify rapid changes in our environment due to an alarming increase in CO2 emissions since the Industrial Revolution began is, in fact, pretty silly when you think about it. I mean, since when is 97% a big deal? All it meant was that 97,000 out of 100,000 of the world’s brightest minds all agree on something. Big whoop I would have hissed. Hehe. I was also going to mock the fact that Pope Benedict XVI had agreed that climate change was real and he called for mankind to start doing something about it before it’s too late. I would have thought up something pretty hysterical to say like, ‘yeah, since when does anyone ask the Pope for weather reports?’ Hahaha. Hey Pope, how’s the weather looking for Easter break? Boo-yah!
I toyed with the idea of writing something really facetious about how the rich have been unselfishly bearing the massive burden of reaping huge benefit$ from the Bu$h tax cut$, and in reality, the serial tax-cutting that has been taking place for the last few decades. I was trying to think up something amusing to say about how they have made so much money over the last decade that the rest of us 99-percenters should be acutely embarrassed that we are so doddering that we couldn’t keep up. I mean, I might have thrown in, there is also a lot of pressure to spend that tax cut wisely. A Bahama condo or a snappy Rolls? Really, the pressure is intense. Additionally, I was thinking about bringing up the idea that Americans should really understand that it is they who are at fault for their own problems anyway since they kept stupidly electing politicians who lied to them and said that tax cuts for the “job creators” actually created jobs…when if you look at the data that has been compiled, that little talking point has been proven to be a big, fat whopper. So just who is to blame for that bit of idiocy, huh? Look in the mirror ya losers. Chortle, chortle.
Admittedly, I intended to lay it on thick, saying things like the Koch brothers should be applauded for spending billions in order to maintain the Citizen’s United post-decision reality (that they ironically had a huge hand in purchasing, right Justices Thomas and Scalia?) where money equals speech and corporations are people. They spend billions for conservative Super-PACS and conservative think tanks and access to institutions of higher learning who have to promise to offer courses that preach their money-and-power-rules mentality to unsuspecting college pukes. I would have, with a straight-face (if you could actually see my face when I type), blubbered something about how their billions flushed into the backrooms of Washington politicos help the economy by keeping dishonest politicians in office who vote against regulations which allow our air, land, and water systems to become polluted which, fortunately, keeps the doctors and funeral-home directors busy or some such hilarity. Yuck, yuck.
Honestly, I sooooo crack myself up.
Obviously, I decided against publishing an April Fool’s blog meant to make me seem like I have lost my mind.
Anyone who knows me at all wouldn’t have fallen for the lame attempt at deception anyway.
Anyone who thinks that cutting taxes for the rich and the corporations will do anything but make them richer sans creating anymore jobs is a fool. It has quite clearly been proven to be a false narrative.
Anyone who can ignore the immense, world-wide call for reversing CO2 emissions from nearly 100% of the world’s greatest scientific minds and institutions in order to stem an obvious catastrophe is a damned fool. It is a ticking time bomb that can be addressed when the monied interests who don’t give a rat’s ass about anything but their bottom line are finally and systematically ignored.
Anyone who doesn’t realize that mega-billionaires like the Koch brothers are ruining our democracy with their secretive, filthy money that buys politicians from both sides to vote for their interests is not only a damned fool but an impediment to our country’s future.
I am not saying that there aren’t any valid ideas or issues emanating from the right that don’t deserve some thought and consideration, because there are. But when it comes to the really big issues of the day, I find that the Republicans are still very much the party of money and by extension, the rich and the powerful. Their out and out lies over the years and their standard talking points promulgated by the wacky talking heads and the Fox News monstrosity of misinformation have been proven to be disingenuous and further, harmful to our very existence.
I am a lot of things, but I ain’t no damned fool as far as the three previous issues are concerned. They are no laughing matter to me.
Happy April Fool’s Day!