Bumper Sticker Madness

Bumper sticker car parked in Santa Cruz, Calif...

Image via Wikipedia


Honk if you love Jesus

 I don’t know if it is at all unethical of me to write this blog today because the idea for it came from another blog. I could just give you the link to that blog and have you read it yourself (which I will anyway…click right here). However, as this blogging stuff has become a sort of public diary of my innermost thoughts and feelings on all things political and worldly, I would like you to indulge my “ditto-ness.” The use of the word “ditto” had actually been outlawed in my own mind before today. This self-imposed ban has been in effect since that blow-hard Rush Limbaugh began bombarding the airwaves with his obnoxious, hate-filled rhetoric many moons ago. His “fans” who call in to feed off of his nastiness quickly became known as “ditto-heads” for they worshipped at the altar of the evil one. Everything that crossed his greasy lips was exactly right and exactly what they were thinking, ergo they would say “ditto!” instead of “hello” when they took time out of their day to call him up to endorse the vitriol he spreads daily. However, while the aforementioned blog I have linked to contains the very same theme that I want to explore here, I have a personal take on that theme so please indulge me.

The idea for today’s offering came from a bumper sticker I saw the other day. I was stopped behind a pick-up truck and I read the bumper sticker. Before I tell you what the bumper sticker said, I have a theory about bumper stickers. Without offending any of my friends or family who may find themselves bumper sticker fans, I will throw in the caveat that this is just my theory (as unproven as evolution or gravity) and this does not apply to everyone (just as not all Republicans are greedy, self-centered prigs who only care about protecting big business and destroying every social compact we have fought for since the progressive era began). Anyway, my theory is that IQ is inversely proportional to the amount of bumper stickers you slap on your vehicle. Also, did you know that a study has shown that people who have lots of bumper stickers on their cars may have anger issues and are shown to be aggressive drivers? Really. I’m not making this stuff up. This jibes with the fact that I’ve noticed that people who drive pick-up trucks tend to love to tell you through their stickers they love guns, have guns, and are quite willing to use guns if you piss them off. Ease off the pedal sister.

Anyway, this bumper sticker I was stuck behind was a picture of President Obama with these words, “DOES THIS ASS MAKE MY TRUCK LOOK BIG?” Of course, my first reaction was to think that somewhere in that truck was possibly a firearm, so my initial impulse to give him the “you’re number one” salute in his rear view mirror was not prudent. My next thought was that I had just seen that same slogan online but the picture was of Rick Perry and THAT one was actually pretty funny. I think I posted it on my Facebook page. I then began to have all sorts of random thoughts of how I pictured the driver of this car. I envisioned him being a for sure, dyed-in-the-wool, member of the Tea Party. He probably held one of those misspelled signs at those early Tea Party rallies (remember the guy holding a sign that said “MORANS”?). Then I imagined he most definitely listened to Rush Limbaugh in his truck. As a matter of fact, I bet he was listening to him right that very moment as I was reading his bumper sticker! How ironic since I was listening to Thom Hartmann on a.m. 1600 who is probably the smartest progressive in America and who I listen to on my way home from work everyday. Here we were, two politically diametrically opposed people, stuck near each other in traffic, and this guy has no idea how much I now despise him now because of that stupid bumper sticker! Oh how I wanted to hit the accelerator and remove that bumper sticker permanently.

But something happened at that moment. Just as the Grinch’s heart grows three sizes when he finally realizes the true meaning of Christmas, my mind and heart took me to another place (in case you were wondering, this was a really long light I was stopped at). I found myself conjuring up another scenario about this guy. I pictured myself passing him, as I couldn’t stand the thought of staring at that sticker on his truck one minute longer. I then envisioned myself being so distracted and angry that I actually drove off the road into a ditch, over-turning. Then for some inexplicable reason, I pictured my arch enemy, my nemesis, this (gasp) Limbaugh listening/ conservative/Republican/Tea Party/gun-toting imbecile stopping to help me. That’s right, this man who I had just condemned to the right-wing garbage heap of my mind was now my hero! In my daydream, he helped me out of my car, asked me if I was all right, and waited for the police to arrive all the while compassionately consoling me. What the hell?

You may think that I am making this story up, but I did not. This whole crazy sequence of events, both real and imagined, actually took place. I write about it this morning because I am really worried about the state of our country right now. It seems we are so many light years apart and there is so much anger and people are not even trying to compromise. It seems like there is so much distortion of facts and figures and no regard for telling the truth. It seems that no one has the will to stand up and do the right thing for our country, which may include concession and conciliation. It does seem that there is more hate and anger cloaked in the guise of religion than I have ever seen in my lifetime. It really seems like we are trying to destroy what we have built through the blood, sweat, and tears of exceedingly brave and brilliant people over decades. I write this morning because I realize that I can do better as well. My rush to judgement of a guy sitting in traffic was wrong-headed.

If you read the column about the other Obama bumper sticker which I linked to earlier in this blog entry , you will understand my inspiration for this piece. It illuminates how people rush to judgement without knowing the truth. It explains how we have visceral reactions to things depending on our station in life. It was an exercise in the fundamental flaws that exist within ourselves. I am no better sometimes and I am working on fixing that. Now I want those politicians in Washington to do the same.

About Blithering Idiot

I am a teacher and I love my job.
This entry was posted in conservatives, Facebook, Humor, politics, Rush Limbaugh, self-improvement, Tea Party, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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