Cry Me a River Boehner


Image via Wikipedia

Hey Boehner, you think you have something to cry about?

With all due respect to John Boehner, the newly sworn-in Speaker of the House of Representatives who weeps like a little baby, seemingly when the wind blows too strongly, I submit that it is the American public who should be sobbing right about now.

I don’t know if it is a new land speed record for breaking campaign promises, but hours after being sworn-in to the 112th congress, the Republicans stomped on every major campaign promise they uttered throughout the 2010 election cycle. Cutting the budget, transparency in the process of bill creation, pay-as-you-go, all of these noble promises–crushed beneath the voluminous, cascading tears of the Speaker in mere hours.

Republican campaign promise:

We will cut 100 billion from the non- defense discretionary budget the first year!

Hours after swear-in :  Uhm, guess we can’t. Sorry. Besides, that number was arbitrary and hypothetical and based off of numbers that weren’t even real. When pressed by Brian Williams in an interview, Boehner couldn’t even name one government program he would cut from the budget! “I don’t think I have one off the top of my head.” That’s okay weepy, you’ve only had years to figure this one out, we’ll give ya a couple more days to come up with one. Yeesh.

Republican campaign promise:

Open-ness, transparency and debate on all bills to be brought forth!

Hours after swear-in: Har-dee-har-har. Vote to repeal health care law set for January 12 with no ability for the Democrats to attempt to offer any provisions to preserve any parts of the law or allow debate on the repeal be it public or congressional. Suckers!

 Republican campaign promise:

Pay-as-you go will be mandatory on all new spending. We will not spend one dime more unless there is a corresponding cut or tax somewhere to off-set it!
Hours after swear-in: Chortle-chortle. Well you see, we are going to exempt some things from pay/go, like this health-care law that, if repealed, will actually RAISE the deficit (if you don’t understand how this is possible then you are watching FOX news and there may be no help for you, sorry). Oh, and by the way, we changed the rules so that pay/go only refers to spending, not tax cuts. You know, like the ones for the millionaires we love to do and then claim that we don’t count it as raising the deficit…even though it does…by billions of dollars. Ya know, that one. Losers!
 Add to all of this Republican back-tracking these little tidbits which are disturbing:
  • Darrell Issa asks corporations and lobbyists what law or regulations they would love to see repealed. I guess he means the one’s that get in the way of bigger profits, like ensuring the public health and safety. Inexplicably , he conveniently forgets to question agencies that oversee the public health and safety. Maybe he’ll get to that…or not. My guess is not.
  • Michelle Bachman was named to the House Intelligence Committee. The House Intelligence Committee. Bachman. I actually started to surf the internet for homes for sale in Canada when I heard that. However, the good thing about her appointment is that members of this particular committee do much of their work in relative obscurity and secrecy and are supposed to keep their mouths shut and stay out of the public eye. Ding-ding-ding…that’s a winner!
  • In the midst of this new-found Tea Party- mania-driven reverence for the Constitution and all things founding-fatherly, the Republicans wanted the Constitution read as the first order of business. Fantastic! I loooove the Constitution! Umma, except they wanted to leave out the original version of the Constitution which included those little nasty reminders of how we had slaves and didn’t let women vote. THEN THEY SKIPPED TWO PAGES OF IT. By accident. Better luck next time!
  • In a flagrant show of either arrogance or stupidity (my vote is for both), two incoming Republican Congressmen, Sessions of Texas and Fitzpatrick of Pennsylvania, decided to blow-off the swearing-in ceremony and start the party early (whoo-hoo), at a FUNDRAISING EVENT. Then, they had the gall to go and vote on a bunch of bills when they were not even officially congressmen! Well, at the very least, we know they won’t waste a minute trying to get re-elected. Focus guys, focus.

All in all, it has been an exciting first few days for the 112th Congress. I think every American agrees we should be rooting for these guys to do the right thing. Our deficit is too high, and should be a priority. What we cut and how we tax to do that is where the divide exists between the parties. Regardless, I do know one expense that may need to be budgeted for in 2012. Kleenex. Lots and lots of Kleenex for the new Speaker. Us taxpayers may need to increase our budgets for that too. I’m blubbering already.

About Blithering Idiot

I am a teacher and I love my job.
This entry was posted in 112 Congress, Humor, politics, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s