My Top-Ten Things To Do in 2011

1. I will resolve to wave less people ahead of me while driving

Why do I do this? It only gets me somewhere in less time, annoys the people driving behind me, and I’m lucky if I get the obligatory thank you wave or the mouthed, “thanks” most of the time. As a matter of fact, when I DO let people in ahead of me and they DON’T thank me, it just makes me hate people more.

2. Watch Fox News more

I think being informed through unbiased, fact-checked, and historically accurate reporting is overrated. And c’mon, we are all pretty sick to death of “political correctness”. It might be nice to sit back and let Fox give me the “fair and balanced” view of all things Obama (read socialist), progressive (read commie), and Nancy Peolosi (read she-devil).

3. Watch reality tv more

Right now, I only watch Celebrity Rehab on a regular basis , mostly because I have a wild crush on Dr. Drew. I think I need to start watching more mind-numbing reality shows like those crazy Kardashians and The Housewives from OC/NJ/ Schenectady. Okay, I was pretty obsessed with “Jersey Shore” for a while because, well, I LIVE at the Jersey shore just miles from Seaside where it tapes and I was curious. Then, once I started watching it it became like that car accident that you pass and you can’t look away from, but are horrified by. Snookie with her pickles and punches to the face, The Situation and his…misogynistic behavior (betcha thought I was gonna say his abs-ha!), Sammi and Ronnie, the couple we all know. You know. The one’s that fight like cats and dogs every three seconds, break up every four seconds, and get back together again every 5 seconds. This happens even after every one of their friends has bad-mouthed the guy/girl that they just ended things with to such an extent that now that friend feels like an idiot on the next double-date. THAT COUPLE. Well, I’m sorry, they were so hideous, so self-involved, so freaking sub-human that I could not look away. Cut me some slack.

4. Hate Sarah Palin less

Ugh. Can’t. Sorry. That’s asking wayyyyy too much.

5. Hate Glenn Beck less

See #4.

6. Be less environmentally sensitive

Truthfully, it’s a royal pain in the neck  to play nice-nice with the planet. Do you realize how much effort it takes to turn the damn faucet on and off when I’m brushing my teeth every single day? Being a tree hugger is also a little embarrassing. Can you appreciate how silly I feel when I walk into the grocery store with my ratty, reusable, grocery bag? A part of me feels like people think I’m bringing it in to save the 2 cents on my grocery bill. I’m many things, but I’m not cheap.

7. Buy less organic food

Besides the fact that it’s more expensive to buy organic food, and as a teacher in NJ I’m on the fast track for the unemployment line come September, it’s also stupid. I can’t really taste a darn bit of difference between an organic kumquat and one slathered in pesticides. Ok, I’ll give you that organic meats are actually tastier, and the fact that they are not injected with anti-biotics and hormones may be beneficial to our health in the long-run, but have you ever considered that if people stop using pesticides and anti-biotics and hormones, we will put the pesticides and anti-biotics and hormone producing businesses out of work? Now clearly, that’s bad for the economy.

8. Excercise less

Excercise is dumb. It wastes a lot of time that I could be blogging, Face-booking, napping, or wandering aimlessly from room-to-room. It’s also bad for the environment as I pollute the air by driving to the gym. Okay, I often walk for exercise and it does make me calmer, appreciate the world I live in more, and gives me a chance to chat with beloved friends, I’ll give you that. But I reiterate. Excercise is dumb. 

9. Sleep less

The 3 and- a- half- hours I get nightly right now is a little excessive. I’ll shoot for 2 and see if I can get more done around the house.

10. DVR more shows

DVR changed my life. I tape a lot of stuff. I tape every history show I can find (including that one in Spanish that I can’t really understand, but  love the topics, so I keep hoping one day I’ll magically understand something they’re saying). I tape all my favorite sit-coms, including, but not limited to every Roseanne and  King of Queens. I tape C-Span. Yes C-Span. Thank God for C-Span. I DVR cooking shows, talk shows, news shows, sports events, environmental shows, movies and documentaries. Now even though I never get to see 1/10 of what I tape, I think I need to tape more crap in 2011 that I’ll never watch. Maybe I’ll DVR  some of those home shopping channels. I betcha I’m missing some good deals out there. Maybe I should start taping some soap operas. I stopped watching “General Hospital” around the time of that weather machine nonsense.  “Days of our Lives”, the hokiest of the hokiest soaps ever, still has Bo Brady I think and I’d love to see what he’s up to now. I figure it shouldn’t take much time to catch up with the storyline since 1994, that’s the beauty of soaps–they progress verry slowwly.

In all seriousness, I really do hope to make some positive changes in my life in 2011. But what I also wish for is for all of my family and friends to find that 2011 brings them health , happiness, and  peace in their lives. I’m keeping you all in my thoughts. Cheers!

About Blithering Idiot

I am a teacher and I love my job.
This entry was posted in CSPAN, Environment, Fox News Channel, Glenn Beck, Health, Humor, Organic food, Physical exercise, politics, Sarah Palin, self-improvement, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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